How To: Insult someone with the perfect insult

Don't sit back and take verbal abuse! This tutorial will teach you how to dish it back out and craft the perfect insult.
You Will Need
• Observational skills
• Timing
• Wit

Step 1: Find a point of weakness
Find a point of weakness in your victim. Look for imperfections that can be easily targeted with an insult. If you know the victim, consider focusing on features of their personality that can be exploited.

Step 2: Make your insult the punch line
Just like a joke, a demeaning insult depends on timing. Start with a short setup that piques their interest. When you've got their attention, finish with a witty punch line.

Step 3: Use sarcasm
Use sarcasm to push their buttons. Say the opposite of what you mean but speak in a slow, exaggerated manner, like when talking to a child. People love it when you do that.
Using too much sarcasm can imply a lack of wit, so use it sparingly.

Step 4: Use your body language
Keep cool, calm, and collected while you dole out a verbal lashing. Appearing stressed, nervous, or angry undermines your power.

Step 5: Insult in deed
Don't rely on words alone; insult your foe with your actions. Exclude them from group activities, carelessly defile things that are important to them, and use dismissive behavior like forgetting their name or the fact that you've met before.

Step 6: Use these elements in concert
Practice mixing and matching various techniques to find an insult style that suits you. Now when someone crosses you, you'll be ready to put them in their place.