How To: Not look like a jerk while wearing a bluetooth

We've all seen them. Those guys or girls. Walking down the street with that little flashing blue piece in their ear. Do you love the convenience of your wireless earpiece, but you hate the way it makes you look like "one of them"? Here's how to avoid coming across like a total jackass.

You Will Need:
• A discreet Bluetooth headset
• Electrical tape
• A modicum of social decorum

Step 1: Choose a discreet earpiece
Choose a discreet earpiece. You don't have to look like a Star Trek character anymore. Manufacturers now offer modestly designed earpieces, some of which are only an inch long.

Step 2: Cover up the blinking blue light
The single most annoying thing about wearing a Bluetooth is the blinking blue light that lets you know it's on and lets everyone else know you're a jerk. Use a piece of electrical tape to cover it up.

Step 3: Take it off
Wearing your earpiece in the car is fine, but take it off when you're in public and not using it. Remember to remove it before entering a restaurant, meeting a date, or attending religious services.

Step 4: Avoid eye contact
If you must talk on your headset in a public place, avoid looking people in the eye. Bluetooths make it hard for others to tell whether you're talking on the phone or to them, so don't confuse things further by making eye contact.

Step 5: Keep it down
Use a normal conversational volume when talking in public. Yes, the mic is located way up by your ear, but Bluetooth headsets boast advanced sensitivity and noise-reduction technology. Keep your voice down, practice proper etiquette, and soon you'll be able to wear your Bluetooth without shame. Or at least less shame.

Trivia: Australian performance artist Stelarc had surgery to implant a prosthetic Bluetooth-enabled ear into his arm.